Boredom Breeds Insanity
by FEARLESS MASTER
Summary: A lil drabble one shot about a boring day at the precinct. Please read and review!
1. Ain't My Bitch

A/N: A little concept I had in my mind to break into SVU fanfiction. The SVU Depot. on an eventless day. This is really just a random concept I came up with on the fly.

WARNING: This fic will feature Olivia singing. If this scares or offends you, LEAVE NOW! Others, please read and review!

Boredom Breeds Insanity

There was not a busy soul in the entire SVU precinct. This barren day was marred by misery and a total sense of boredom. Alex had stopped by to pick Olivia up for lunch.

"Jeez. Looks like you guys are having the same lousy day as me huh?" she chirped when she finally took notice of everyone's iron expression that screamed "I really wish I were anywhere but here!" Alex found Olivia dosing over her desk. A stream of drool flowed from her open mouth, above that her snoring, which alarmed many and amused Alex, seemed to shake the building.

"Alex!" Olivia moaned groggily in her slumber

Her girlfriend tapped her on the shoulder, "Olivia wake up." Immediately the detective sprung to life. "Ugh. Sorry Alex," she yawned and pecked Alex on the cheek, "Things have been a little... slow around here lately." Alex smiled wide, remembering the room she and Olivia had dressed at the precinct when things became monotinous, "I know what'll fix this tired old group." Taking Olivia's hand and motioning everyone else to follow, Alex led them to a vacant hallway.

They stopped outside of a door which looked like a Janitor's closet. "Alex," Elliot spoke slowly wiping his eyes, "You have lost your mind. What's the fun in a janitor's closet?" Again the ADA smiled, "Elliot you are such a dim visionary." she opened the door to reveal her secret hideaway. Once all murmurs of surprise subsided, Alex herded them inside. The room was the size of a movie theatre, complete with a small stage and screen with leather seats at the foot of the stage, two guitars and a microphone stood idly on the wood platform.

"This is where, when things get too boring or when Olivia wants to have a little fun, we come here and jam out." This ignites the mens' interest. "You girls can play?" Fin asked amazed at the revelation. Olivia nodded and gestured the group towards the front row of seats. "Relax and we'll rock your world!" she chuckled lightly as she and Alex jumped onstage and took their guitars in hand. Alex's had two guitars, an acoustic her father had given her, and the electric ax that her lover had presented her on their first date.

Both women stood in silence for a nanosecond before Olivia unleashed the first riff, followed by the backing of Alex's rhythmic chords. Olivia waited until the time was right before speaking before she launched into a southern twang vocal, "This is a song I wrote about Elliot. He tried to get with me after Alex and I came out of our closet. Sorry Elliot, but your wanting me when I'm spoken for ain't my bitch!" Then her vocals came, soft and sweet.

Outta my way  
Outta my day  
Out of your mind and into mine  
Into no one  
Into not one  
Into your step but out of time

Headstrong  
What's wrong?  
I've already heard this song before  
you've arrived  
But now it's time  
To kiss your ass good-bye

Dragging me down  
Why you around?  
So useless

It ain't my fall  
It ain't my call  
It ain't my bitch

It ain't my bitch

Down on the sun  
Down and no fun  
Down and out where the hell ya been?  
Damn it all down  
Damn it unbound  
Damn it all down to hell again

Stand tall  
Can't fall  
Never even bend at all before  
you've arrived  
But now it's time  
To kiss your ass good-bye

Dragging me down  
Why you around?  
So useless

It ain't my fall  
It ain't my call  
It ain't my bitch

Outta my way

Outta my way  
Outta my day  
Out of your mind and into mine  
Into no one  
Into not one  
Into your step but out of time

Headstrong  
What's wrong?  
I've already heard this song before  
You've arrived  
But now it's time  
To kiss your ass good-bye  
And now it's time to kiss your ass good-bye

Dragging me down  
Why you around?  
So useless

It ain't my fall  
It ain't my call  
It ain't my bitch

No way but down  
Why you're around?  
No foolin'

It ain't my smile  
It ain't my style  
It ain't my bitch

Oh, it ain't mine  
Ain't mine  
Your kind  
Your stepin' out of time  
Ain't mine  
Your kind  
Your stepin' out of time

Dragging me down  
Why you around?  
No foolin'

It ain't my fall  
It ain't my call  
It ain't my bitch  
You ain't mine

The crowd laughed at Olivia's performance of the song, even Stabler, who did not seem to mind that he was clearly being burned for trying to bed a lesbian.

A/N: Poor Stabler, why can't Olivia go both ways? I hope you had fun reading this fic, I sure had a ball writing it! Please read and review!


	2. Money

A/N: Well now. It seems everybody is getting in on the sining action of the SVU precinct. This time around, Elliot performs a song, Pink Floyd's Money.

Money

Elliot patted Olivia on the back as she and Alex came down from the stage. "That was great Liv. I especially like the way your voice pitched when you said the _bitch_ lines." Stabler did his best to imitate her style but ended up getting laughed at by everyone. "Anyway," he said trying to divert the red aura that he felt. Olivia took a step back and grinned, "You've got something you wanna sing?" her partner nodded.

His knees were knocking hard as he took his place behind the microphone. With only Alex up there for instrumental support, he felt like a one man army standing under the heat of the spotlights. He cleared his throat.

"Well, I had this idea. I've been toying with it in my spare time and well, this isn''t really deadicated to anyone... except maybe my wife, you'll know what I'm getting at as the song goes on." he motioned to Alex, who flawlessly played a quick finger picking style riff. Elliot's vocal were cool and drew the crowd of seven to their feet.

Money, get away  
Get a good job with more pay  
And your O.K.

Money, it's a gas  
Grab that cash with both hands  
And make a stash

New car, caviar, four star daydream  
Think I'll buy me a football team

Money get back  
I'm all right Jack  
Keep your hands off my stack

Money, it's a hit  
Don't give me that  
Do goody good bullshit

I'm in the hi-fidelity  
First class traveling set  
And I think I need a Lear jet

(Sax and guitar solos)

Money, it's a crime  
Share it fairly  
But don't take a slice of my pie  
[ Lyrics from:  p/pink+floyd/money_  ]  
Money, so they say  
Is the root of all evil  
Today

But if you ask for a rise  
It's no surprise that they're  
Giving none away  
Away  
Away  
Away  
Away...

Alex joined him in a conversational vocal duet for the remainder of the song.

"Hu Huh! I was in the right!"  
"Yes, absolutely in the right!"  
"I certainly was in the right!"  
"You was definitely in the right. That geezer was cruising for a bruising!"  
"Yeah!"  
"Why does anyone do anything?"  
"I don't know, I was really drunk at the time!"  
"I was just telling him, he couldn't get into number 2. He was asking  
Why he wasn't coming up on freely, after I was yelling and  
Screaming and telling him why he wasn't coming up on freely.  
It came as a heavy blow, but we sorted the matter out"

Everyone went into an uproar of laughter and applause. "Now," Elliot laughed into the microphone, "You know why I divorced my wife. Now she ain't my bitch!" His quoting her song made Olivia smile and laugh harder.

A/N: If you were wondering the names of the songs I've posted, the first one was Ain't My Bitch by Metallica and this one is Money by Pink Floyd.


End file.
